Pain, Pain, Go Away…

Another day of “The Flare”. I’m now on Day 4, and it’s really taking a toll. My creative juices are flowing….but I’m struggling to make anything sound like more than just a “stream of consciousness”. So apologies but I feel like all of the following needs to be said.

I had absolutely gotten complacent with my life. I wasn’t resting as much as I should, and I was taking sleep for granted. And now I can’t get enough sleep and I’m absolutely exhausted.

Normally I micro-manage my day with my Freedom Mastery Planner – but this week I’ve barely managed the basics, never mind filling in my planner. I haven’t showered in two days (although I’ll have a bath later because my pain is high and baths help).

The pain. It’s in my left bum cheek, my left shoulder and arm, my lower back, my neck….and my skin. Ohhhh my skin. Even the slightest stroke is so very painful and causes me to flinch as though I stuck my arm in a naked flame. I can’t even cuddle Bryan because of the pain. This is more painful than the physical pain. I don’t even know why he stays with me. Because I suck as a girlfriend.

I have watched all 8 Harry Potter movies in 2 days. Still got the Fantastic Beasts movies left to watch. But I’m not exactly watching them. They are just playing in my environment and occasionally I look up to check in.

I did some work, which actually really helped me. I have a long term client who I occasionally go a bit of writing for. The pieces come very easily, and they aren’t particularly long, so it’s not too taxing physically. It keeps me going.

I haven’t worried about my diet. I won’t feel bad about this either. I will eat whatever is closest, and when Monday comes, I’ll renew my efforts to shed the weight.

This week I vow not to make myself feel bad about anything, because I know I need a rest from everything.

But next week, next week I’ll do better.

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